some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
