I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
