you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
