I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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