My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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