Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize