i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
