There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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