she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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