so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
