Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
