what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
