hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
