I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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