is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
