I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
