Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
