i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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