Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
