5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize