im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
