You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
