listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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