Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
