so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize