I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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