Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i dont even know how to be here
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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