I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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