in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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