i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
