Don't you send me to vm
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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