Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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