I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
