so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
