I'm really into asian looking animals
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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