i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
