Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
