I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
