i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
