Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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