SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wish I only lived at night.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you will always have a special place in my vag
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
