i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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