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• (317): View more from Indiana

  it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely

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• (408): View more from California

  Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand

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• (281): View more from Texas

  so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.

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• (510): View more from California

  Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised

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• (940): View more from Texas

  I DEMAND FORESKIN

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Want ramen today?

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  I need a salad

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  He has the fingertips of a God

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