the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
