O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
