The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
