I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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