The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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