I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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