Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
