Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i out mim tonsoeep
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