I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
