THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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