If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize