Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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