All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
whose parrot is this?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
