please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
