idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
be right there i have to get my cape
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
