I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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