it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize